*Baby, We’re 2 Rebels* October 6, 2009

Pssst… click this.. *Cobra Starship*

What makes a good girl go bad?? As I dance around looking all kinds of crazy,  I find myself wanting to answer this question.  From the moment I heard this song for the first time it has stuck to me; resonated in such a way I couldn’t get enough of it.  I assumed it was the catchy hook, but now I think it is far more than that.

All my life I have been the good girl. The one everyone thought would never do anything wrong.  Sure, my bestees and I really want t-shirts that say *Dude we’re so bad ass it’s insane*, but if we are honest with ourselves we really aren’t.  LOL.  While I have done I few things that would make my mother’s hair curl for the most part I am a pretty straight laced girl.  Never rocking the boat, never truly following my heart.  So lately I have found myself wondering what it would look like if I finally took the leap & became a good girl gone *bad*.

Would I finally get that tattoo I have been wanting for the last 15 years?  Would I find my voice & stand up for the things I am so passionate about, no matter how angry my family gets??  Would I finally find the strength to go back to school & chase the dreams that ache inside my heart every minute of every day??  Maybe I would get my nose pierced & dye my to match my personality! Allow my creative juice to flow freely & stop buying into the bull sh*t I’ve been fed.  Allow my heart to convince my head once & for all  that I am indeed far more than a curvy girl in a wheelchair; I am a curvy girl in a wheelchair who has a hell of a lot to  offer to the world around her!  Would I stop being paralyzed by my fear of disappointing those who have disappointed me most & finally leap head long into the life I know I deserve?! Kiss a girl & not feel guilty for saying I like it?  Yep, I did just say that out loud for the whole world to hear!  Look out now, look out!

None of these things are bad, but to those with whom I share genetics all of them would be the end of the world.  I would indeed be a good girl going bad.  For the first time… possibly ever I can honestly say I want nothing more than to be that girl.  A boat rocker, the crazy girl I used to be who wasn’t afraid of anything.. not really.. not like I am now.  Would the real K Fizzle please stand up?! Er, okay so maybe that whole standing thing won’t work out to well, but you know what i mean!  No matter how scared I may be; everything inside of me is screaming.. it’s time!! **For too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost; well if that’s love… it comes at MUCH too high a cost!!  I think I’ll try defying gravity.**  It is time to swim against the tide, allow my heart to be my guide, & stop waiting for a better time. No day but today… I am allowing this blog to be my first step toward being a good girl gone bad.  Toward living a life filled with love & a million memories.  A life spent helping others, loving them, helping them to be the best people they can be.

In order for me to do that I need to set my self free… realize  the truth that lies in being comfortable in my own skin.  **In this life you don’t have to prove a damn thing to anyone but yourself.  after all you’ve been through if you don’t know you’re something special …  you never will.**   <—— I need this tattooed on my forehead!  If you are still reading this take some time to love yourself.. be comfortable in your skin.. realize that this is the only life you get.. do everything you can to make it good to the last drop!  Get crazy..  break the mold.. relish being a good girl gone bad! <3

love. always.

K <3

Where are we now?!?! September 12, 2009

Eight years ago the world stopped;  for all intensive purposes it stood still.  Fear, anger, anguish, & uncertainty rendered us momentarily immobile… Then something bigger kicked in; the human spirit was evident.. raw & tangible!  In the face of tragedy & enormous uncertainty we said hell no; we are not going to take this lying down!!  We will not hide in our closets because there’s a monster under our bed.  In the face of the unthinkable we put aside our differences … laid down our pride & rallied to *never let this slow us down.* to never forget.

Yet, on this day 8 years later I find myself asking… have we forgotten??  Every single day there is fighting in this country… **I’m right, you’re wrong.  My way is the only way!  If you won’t give me the barrel of monkeys (or oil) then I am not going to play with you!!**  We pout & throw tantrums like a spoiled 2 year old if we can’t have it our way; & how dare someone disagree with us… they have NO right to do that!

Everyday people claiming to do things out of love for their creator walk around spreading hate, anger, & all too often intolerance… **In the Name of Jesus.**  I’m sorry, but that is not the cool cat I read about when I open THE BOOK!!  Maybe it is time we re-think this thing… maybe it’s time to remember what it means to compromise.  Time to open our eyes & realize that  playing with the barrel of monkeys together is a hell of a lot better than not getting to play at all!  Who knows… maybe, just maybe we’ll get a life long friend out of it!  Maybe we need to see that middle ground does not = losing, but rather realizing there are 2 sides to every story, & both deserve to be heard!

On a day where we revisit all of the anguish that flew our way 8 years ago… may we remember what came out of that.  We were indeed the [UNITED] States of America.  It wasn’t about political parties, or income, gender, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs.  It was about hope, love, & unity.  What would our world look like if we were to get ourselves back to that??

What if we took a chance & realized that those for Brits who started a *Revolution* had it right all along…  Love IS all you need!!  What if rather than allowing greed & self interest to rule our lives we *gave love a try?!*  You may say I’m a crazy dreamer; my ? to you is… *Where would we be, if we couldn’t dream??!!*

May we never forget what it feels like to truly live… tomorrow is not promised.  *Love it up… everyday!*

love. always.

~K <3

Hello world! September 1, 2009

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