For reasons I cannot explain I seem to epically fail at writing a blog on a regular basis. In my defense I have been suffering from a pretty heavy case of writer’s block lately. If you know me at all you know this is extremely rare for me; talking in one form or another is sort of what I do. :) Perhaps a portion of my silence can be attributed to the recent rain cloud hovering over my life. The saying when it rains it pours has been very true for me in recent days… I have chosen to add a tag line on to this thought; after every storm comes a rainbow…. it is time for me to go find mine. 
Spending the last 19 days without a car has definitely been an eye-opening experience. I have seen just how independent I’ve become, & how maddening it is to have that independence taken away. I have no clue how I survived before my power chair & van came into my life!! As maddening as the down time has been it has also provided a few adventures that quite possibly would have otherwise been overlooked.
One day my friend Lily & I took her daughter Krysta to the park… not sure when your last visit to the park was, but it’s safe to say a trip to the park as an adult is a world away from the trip you took when you were 3. As I watched Krysta run & play I was mesmerized at the freedom she embodied. It wasn’t about following the rules, or living up to people’s expectations… It was just about having fun! Why does that change is we get older?? Why has taking everything so seriously been programmed into our DNA?? Why don’t we fly kites, play in the rain, or ride the merry-go-round anymore?? When was the last time you threw down a blanket & stared up into the night sky while holding hands with the one who gives you butterflies? <3 midway through our park visit 2 other kids came with their parents. Within a minute Krysta was playing with them; it was as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do. As I was rolling home I was taken by how foreign a concept that is for adults.
Last summer I went to a Jonas Brothers concert alone; because I am insane I felt it was appropriate to get there 7 hours early. Having time to kill I did what anyone would do.. went exploring & talked to as many strangers as possible! I even had dinner with 3 people I’d never met after the concert. When I got home & began to share my adventure with others I could not believe how they responded… people were genuinely shocked that I spent the day talking with strangers. I cannot tell you how many times I heard **Oh, NO! I would have driven to the concert got out of the car right before it started, went straight to my seat & not spoken to anyone.** Why?!?! Why does adulthood strip us of our ability to take that risk we saw no problem with when we were 3??? How often do you speak to strangers on the train or bus? Do you greet the people you ride the elevator with? When was the last time you engaged in conversation with a stranger at the grocery store, or even took the time to smile at a stranger on the street? Perhaps the bigger question here is how much different would the world be if we did?? No mater how different we are at the most basic level we are all the same; so we do we go through life without getting to know each other??
In 57 days I will turn 30. While many people dread this moment I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. While I don’t know what the future will hold I wouldn’t mind if the next chapter of my life looked something like *13 going on 30.* No, I don’t want a pink doll house with cardboard cut-outs of myself in every room… but I wouldn’t mind leaving some of the seriousness of adulthood behind to embrace the freedom that comes with being a teenager. The older I get the more I see the necessity in keeping who i was when I was young alive & well. Life is just too damn short to take it, & yourself too seriously! Sure, **it’s been a long time since 22.**, but that doesn’t mean we have to act like it! Have dance parties, take spring break trips, get a tattoo, wear sexy underwear, go skydiving. We only get to take this trip once… might as well make it one hell of a ride! :D **You are writing your autobiography… why not make it amazing??** <3 Next time someone tells you you’re getting old tell them you are like a fine wine; you are just getting better with age. ;) My prayer is that you’ll spend your days striving to make that your truth! If like me you’ve spent your whole life going with the flow make this the time where you finally decide to swim against the tide & ride some gnarly waves! Oh, & along the way be sure to get in touch with your inner 3-year-old; invite the *new kid* to sit with you at lunch. After all, what fun is the merry-go-round if you’re riding it all alone?? <3
Love. Always.
~K <3
), bubbly, inspiring (according to others), determined, fearless, full of fear, passionate, complete goof ball, persuasive, hott wheels, a beautiful mess, a work in progress, loud, silly, child like, at times… childish, wild, strong, R.A.N.D.O.M., music is my boyfriend, emotional, a believer, one who questions, hell on wheels, lover of color, independent, insecure, abused… a victor not a victim!, I want to leave the world better than I found it, give love to those who so desperately need it!, be light in times of darkness, afraid to succeed, petrified to fail, ready to leap, yet terrified to fall, striving daily to undo the brainwashing that I am a burden with little to offer, handiCAPABLE, (thank you gLee 
The good news… I am ready to fond out. I am ready to kick off my flip flops & jump on this trampoline with you! The mental image of this makes me feel the need to say… **I’d like to make myself believe… this planet earth turns slowly.** The truth is… I have been running from this tugging on my heart for so long: can’t really say I am pleased with the results. Use me.. *Here am I; send me!* push me, just promise to be patient with me & my stupid mouth. I can’t promise I’ll listen all the time, or that I won’t want to turn around & run to hide under my bed, that I won’t be selfish, or stubborn. Find a way to weave it all; the good & the bad into something far better than I could ever imagine!
While I have done I few things that would make my mother’s hair curl for the most part I am a pretty straight laced girl. Never rocking the boat, never truly following my heart. So lately I have found myself wondering what it would look like if I finally took the leap & became a good girl gone *bad*.
