*Baby, We’re 2 Rebels* October 6, 2009

Pssst… click this.. *Cobra Starship*

What makes a good girl go bad?? As I dance around looking all kinds of crazy,  I find myself wanting to answer this question.  From the moment I heard this song for the first time it has stuck to me; resonated in such a way I couldn’t get enough of it.  I assumed it was the catchy hook, but now I think it is far more than that.

All my life I have been the good girl. The one everyone thought would never do anything wrong.  Sure, my bestees and I really want t-shirts that say *Dude we’re so bad ass it’s insane*, but if we are honest with ourselves we really aren’t.  LOL.  While I have done I few things that would make my mother’s hair curl for the most part I am a pretty straight laced girl.  Never rocking the boat, never truly following my heart.  So lately I have found myself wondering what it would look like if I finally took the leap & became a good girl gone *bad*.

Would I finally get that tattoo I have been wanting for the last 15 years?  Would I find my voice & stand up for the things I am so passionate about, no matter how angry my family gets??  Would I finally find the strength to go back to school & chase the dreams that ache inside my heart every minute of every day??  Maybe I would get my nose pierced & dye my to match my personality! Allow my creative juice to flow freely & stop buying into the bull sh*t I’ve been fed.  Allow my heart to convince my head once & for all  that I am indeed far more than a curvy girl in a wheelchair; I am a curvy girl in a wheelchair who has a hell of a lot to  offer to the world around her!  Would I stop being paralyzed by my fear of disappointing those who have disappointed me most & finally leap head long into the life I know I deserve?! Kiss a girl & not feel guilty for saying I like it?  Yep, I did just say that out loud for the whole world to hear!  Look out now, look out!

None of these things are bad, but to those with whom I share genetics all of them would be the end of the world.  I would indeed be a good girl going bad.  For the first time… possibly ever I can honestly say I want nothing more than to be that girl.  A boat rocker, the crazy girl I used to be who wasn’t afraid of anything.. not really.. not like I am now.  Would the real K Fizzle please stand up?! Er, okay so maybe that whole standing thing won’t work out to well, but you know what i mean!  No matter how scared I may be; everything inside of me is screaming.. it’s time!! **For too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost; well if that’s love… it comes at MUCH too high a cost!!  I think I’ll try defying gravity.**  It is time to swim against the tide, allow my heart to be my guide, & stop waiting for a better time. No day but today… I am allowing this blog to be my first step toward being a good girl gone bad.  Toward living a life filled with love & a million memories.  A life spent helping others, loving them, helping them to be the best people they can be.

In order for me to do that I need to set my self free… realize  the truth that lies in being comfortable in my own skin.  **In this life you don’t have to prove a damn thing to anyone but yourself.  after all you’ve been through if you don’t know you’re something special …  you never will.**   <—— I need this tattooed on my forehead!  If you are still reading this take some time to love yourself.. be comfortable in your skin.. realize that this is the only life you get.. do everything you can to make it good to the last drop!  Get crazy..  break the mold.. relish being a good girl gone bad! <3

love. always.

K <3